


open my mouth, all the gems falling out

by alexmanes



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Drunk/Tipsy Antics, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-11-29 10:25:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18221870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexmanes/pseuds/alexmanes
Summary: Michael says the darnedest thing when he's drunk. Alex, equally drunk, is putty in his hands. As supportive as ever, Maria lets them have their fun after-hours.





	open my mouth, all the gems falling out

**Author's Note:**

> A short, fluffy piece based off of [this post](http://incorrectroswellnm.tumblr.com/post/183654601843). It made me think of many things that demanded to be written immediately. I also think we could all use a shamelessly fluffy piece with my three faves right about now. The title of the fic comes from _Silvertongue_ by Young the Giant, which is a dope song. Definitely go give it a listen.

Contrary to popular belief, Michael and Alex are  _not_ capable of holding their liquor. 

Well, not nearly as capable as they'd like others to believe. Michael's convinced it takes four beers to get him anywhere close to smashed, even though Maria's pretty sure two and a half will do the trick just fine. Alex insists he can handle that fifth shot of whiskey, but Maria knows he most certainly cannot. She’s witnessed their drunken antics more times than she can count on both hands, has had to pry bottles or shot glasses from them on more than one occasion.

When they're together, though? It's a lot less noticeable. She's still not used to seeing them in the same room together, let alone attached at the hip, but they balance each other well enough. When the alcohol starts flowing, Alex keeps Michael from picking fights and Michael keeps Alex from jumping on top of tables. It saves Maria an awful lot of money she’d otherwise spend cleaning up their messes — or in Michael’s case, paying his exponentially growing tab.

It's also why she allows them a bit more leeway than the rest of her rowdier patrons. So long as they behave themselves, they get front-row seats at the bar and some booze on the house. She even lets them hang around after the clock strikes two and most bar-goers head home for the night. Most nights, she appreciates the company, and maybe even gets a kick out of seeing her tipsy friends in action. When Michael’s machismo dries up and Alex lets down his military bravado, they’re probably the cutest couple Maria’s seen in a long time. Also the most entertaining, oddly enough.

“Hey, DeLuca!” Michael all but crows, catching her attention from the end of the bar.

Though she’s busy going over her stock, Maria pauses to look his way. Michael’s managed to stand to his feet, which is more than she can say for Alex. He’s still a ways away from standing, but he’s nowhere near as rambunctious as his boyfriend. Still, an energetic Michael is better than the bar-brawling alternative. Come to think of it, she can’t remember the last time he got into an argument with Alex by his side.

“What’s your damage, Guerin?” Maria calls back, tucking her clipboard under her arm.

“Guess what I can do,” Michael giddily responds. He puffs his chest out and stands tall against the bar top, prompting snickers from Alex. “Nuh-uh, no laughing. I’m about to blow your mind too.”

Against her better judgement, Maria relents. She makes her way back toward the end of their bar, telling herself it’s only to make sure they don’t hurt themselves or find a way to snag more of her alcohol behind the register. She’s most definitely not interested in whatever sly trick Michael’s about to pull, or so she tells herself. In reality, her curiosity is getting the best of her and she knows Michael is about to pull his stunt anyway, whether she’s watching or not. Might as well be present for his little show.

“Alright, color me intrigued,” Maria concedes, stopping right in front of the tipsy couple. Alex has his arms wrapped around Michael’s bicep and Michael can hardly take his eyes off him. If she could snap a photo without either of them whining about it, she would.

“I can fit my whole world into my hands,” Michael announces. “Wanna see?”

Luckily, Maria is in good enough spirits to humor her inebriated friend. “As long as it doesn’t involve you drinking anymore alcohol? Sure, I’ll bite.”

With Maria’s permission, Michael’s beaming from ear to ear as he turns to face Alex, who looks less than convinced by his boyfriend’s bold declaration.

“Michael, that’s impossible—” Alex tries to protest, but doesn’t get very far. Michael’s cupping his cheeks before Alex has any time to react, and it’s promptly followed by a quick kiss that Alex doesn’t see coming either.

Maria has to hold back her laughter when Michael finally pulls back, because the flush on Alex’s cheeks and the shock that accompanies it is absolutely priceless.

“See?” Michael says, still cradling Alex’s face. “My whole world.”

Alex clears his throat, but remains silent. It isn’t until Michael leans back in for another kiss that Alex finally pipes up, but even that is nearly lost against Michael’s lips.

“Guerin,” Alex scolds, reverting to a deep, professional tone. He’s nothing but serious now, especially when Michael squishes his cheeks together. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

For a split second, Maria actually believes him. She thinks of worst-case scenarios where Michael resorts to drunkenly brooding all over her bar while Alex closes in on himself, and she’ll be the one to pick up the pieces for both her friends. But then Alex is suddenly bursting into a fit of giggles and Michael’s laughter isn’t too far behind.

With a sigh of relief, Maria realizes that it was simply a front. Probably an inside joke the two of them have cooked up over time. Then Alex sits up and meets Michael halfway for yet another kiss, and another, and another, and—

“No sex on the counter,” she scolds, swatting at Michael with her clipboard. “I swear to God, Guerin, I can and will spray you with my water hose.”

The last time she let them get ahead of themselves, she’d come back from the bathroom to find Michael grinding Alex into the bar top with no signs of stopping. That’s certainly not how she wants this night to end, no matter how fond she’s become of their company.

As expected, however, they don’t pay her much mind. Michael is whispering things against Alex’s lips that she can’t quite make out. Judging by the bright smile on Alex’s face, Michael’s saying something as sweet and cheesy as Maria’s come to expect from him. Who knew Guerin could actually be romantic? Definitely not Maria, and she’s actually slept with the guy before. He puts up such a rough and tough front for the rest of their tiny town, but when it’s just him, Alex, and their friends? An entirely different side jumps right out.

“Okay, okay, slow down,” Alex chuckles, swatting at Michael’s arms. Maria can’t tell where his hands have gone, but her best guess would be below the waist. “I promise to do all of that when we get home, but one of us has to be sober enough to drive.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Michael groans, letting his head fall against Alex’s shoulder. “Do we have to? We can just call Max to give us a lift back to the cabin.”

“You are _not_ bugging Max just so you two can get home for some hanky-panky,” Maria quickly insists, removing the empty glasses and beer bottles they’ve racked up. “Give it thirty more minutes and I’m pretty sure Guerin will be good to go. He’s just being dramatic because he doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants.”

She and Alex share a knowing look, all while Michael pouts and settles back down on his stool.

“We can go makeout in the backseat of my truck,” Michael suggests, which gets him a fond, but very stern glare from both Alex and Maria. “Fine. We’ll wait it out in here, but only because I love you—” He pauses, pecking Alex on the cheek. “—and can tolerate DeLuca.”

“Ooh, big talk for someone who still hasn’t paid his tab for the night,” Maria taunts, jabbing a pen in Michael’s direction. “And someone who seemed to do a lot more than tolerate me a couple years back. If I remember correctly, _you_ kissed me first, not the other way around.”

Alex throws his head back with a loud laugh and Michael blushes furiously, sputtering and stuttering while trying to come up with a witty enough response. Maria loves moments like this, where they’ve all moved well past the awkward stage of their collective friendship and can freely joke about her brief fling with Michael. It’s also hilarious to swap stories with Alex and poke fun at Michael, if only to keep his head out of the clouds and his ego under control.

“As much as I’d love stay and tease you,” Maria eventually says, “I need to wrap up my inventory check. Can I trust you two to keep it PG-13 while I do that?”

Maria knows she can’t, but leaves Alex and Michael to their own devices anyway. Once they nod and promise — or rather, Alex promises for the both of them — she turns her back toward the happy, albeit tipsy couple. And when she can hear them getting up to even more mischief, she doesn’t bother looking back. A few rowdy moments won’t throw the Wild Pony into total disarray, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, feel free to drop a kudos or comment, but only if that's what you're into. If you prefer other methods, you can privately hug your phone/computer close to your chest and whisper, "Thank you." I promise I'll hear your kind words, sense your gratitude, and smile to myself. Find me at [alexmanes](https://alexmanes.tumblr.com) if you ever want to discuss the beauty of Malex!


End file.
